“Is your default setting to defend your limitations of expand your possibilities?”

Posted on April 1, 2025 by Barry

“Is your default setting to defend your limitations or expand your possibilities?”

—James Clear, author of Atomic Habits

Image from Unsplash by Jan Canty

Defending one’s limitations can be a comfortable trap!

It’s easy to stay within our perceived boundaries, but this mindset stunts our growth and potential.

On the flip side, expanding our capabilities can be challenging and uncomfortable. It pushes us outside our comfort zone and forces us to confront our fears.

The rewards for pushing beyond our perceived limits are immeasurable.

By embracing a growth mindset, we open ourselves to new opportunities, experiences and personal development.

There are enough barriers and obstacles in our outer world. Why would we ever consider compounding these by setting and fighting for our own?

EXERCISE:

Consider reading Mindset by Carol Dweck.

This foundational book introduces the concept of fixed and growth mindsets, showing how beliefs about our abilities impacts success.

Learning how to grow from the “no’s” in life is a sure strategy for success.

Posted on March 31, 2025 by Barry

Learning how to grow from the “no’s” in life is a sure strategy for success.

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by Morgan Bryan

As I reflect on my journey as a coach, I’ve come to realize that Life’s “no’s” often offer the most valuable lessons. These moments of rejection or failure can be transformative if we approach them with curiosity and openness.

By embracing the “no’s” we can refine our strategies, build resilience, and discover new opportunities. In my book The Quotable Coach, Daily Nuggets of Practical Wisdom and this blog, I often emphasize the importance of turning setbacks into stepping stones.

Learning from Life’s “no’s” is not just about overcoming obstacles — it’s about growing into the best version of ourselves.

EXERCISE:

Consider checking out William Ury’s book The Power of a Positive No: How to Say No and Still Get to Yes for ways to apply this strategy for success in many areas of your life.

Friday Review: TEAMWORK

Posted on March 28, 2025 by Barry

Friday Review: TEAMWORK

What are your thoughts and beliefs about teamwork? Here are a few related posts you may have missed.

“A party without cake is just a meeting.”

“A single leaf working alone provides no shade.”

Life is not a solo performance. How and where can you collaborate with others to accomplish an important goal?

The trouble with having an open mind

Posted on March 27, 2025 by Barry

“The trouble with having an open mind is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.”

—Sir Terence David John Pratchett OBE, late English author, humorist, and satirist

Image from Unsplash by Hal Gatewood

Over the years, I’ve seen the power of an open mind, but also its pitfalls.

While embracing new ideas can foster growth, it can also lead to distraction and lack of grounding. An overly open mind might stray from established principles, causing confusion and undermining progress.

It’s essential to keep a balance to remain receptive yet grounded, ensuring that new ideas and insights enhance, rather than disrupt, our core values and goals.

Just as when you put on a new piece of clothing or a pair of new shoes, consider taking a “Try It On” approach to make sure any new information or idea fits with who you are and who you want to be.

EXERCISE:

In what ways would greater discernment regarding keeping an open mind benefit your life?

Where would a “Try It On” approach aid you in making better choices and taking more effective actions in your life?

Conflicts are more likely to have a successful resolution

Posted on March 26, 2025 by Barry

“Conflicts are more likely to have a successful resolution when the other side realizes our goal is understanding, not winning.”

—Rohan Rajiv, author of A Learning a Day Blog

Image from Unsplash by krakenimages

As I reflect on the nature of conflict, I’m reminded that true resolution lies not in winning, but in understanding when disagreements arise.

It’s crucial to listen deeply and seek common ground. By doing so, we transform conflicts into opportunities for growth and deeper connection.

Over the years, I’ve seen individuals and organizations flourish when they prioritize mutual understanding over victory.

Approaching conflicts with empathy and openness we foster environments where everyone can thrive.

In the end, it’s not about being right, but about applying wisdom and compassion in our pursuit of a world that works better for everyone.

EXERCISE:

Examine some recent conflicts in your personal and professional life.

Where would seeking to better understand one another be a better approach to realize Win-Win resolutions in your world?

What you push down doesn’t vanish

Posted on March 25, 2025 by Barry

“What you push down doesn’t vanish, it festers and wields quiet power over your thoughts and actions.”

—James Clear, author of Atomic Habits

Image from Unsplash by BĀBI

In our journey of personal and professional growth, we often encounter challenges or emotions we try to suppress.

These buried feelings don’t disappear on their own — they remain within us, influencing our behaviors and decisions in both subtle and overt ways.

As a coach, I encourage clients to face these often-hidden aspects of themselves by acknowledging and more importantly addressing what we’ve pushed down.

In doing so, we can truly grow and achieve our best.

EXERCISE:

In what areas of your life are you suppressing challenging thoughts and emotions?

How is resisting these feelings causing them to fester and persist in your life?

For extra insight into such matters, consider checking out Rick Carson’s book Taming your Gremlins: A Surprisingly Simple Method for Getting Out of Your Own Way.

We often act based on the messages of the mind

Posted on March 24, 2025 by Barry

We often act based on the messages of the mind. Consider the wisdom of the heart and gut for alternative sources of guidance.

—Calm App Reflection

Image from Unsplash by Edz Norton

We often find ourselves acting on the messages our mind sends us, relying heavily on logic and reason. Meanwhile, I’ve noticed that true wisdom comes from alternative sources within ourselves.

Consider the intuitive whispers of your heart, guiding you towards what truly resonates with your values and passions. Don’t ignore the gut feelings that serve as your internal compass, alerting you to potential dangers or opportunities.

By integrating these sources of guidance—mind, heart, and gut—you can make more holistic decisions and take better actions that align with your most authentic self.

EXERCISE:

Place your hand over your heart and reflect on your values, and what you care about most.

Place your hand on your stomach and pay attention to any hunches, intuitions, or emotions related to your current situation.

Take an extra minute or two to write down the guidance you received from these two often overlooked sources of wisdom.

Friday Review: Success

Posted on March 21, 2025 by Barry

Friday Review: Success

How do you define Success? Here are a few related posts you may have missed.

“Success is a ladder that cannot be climbed with your hands in your pockets.”

“The tiny seed knew that in order to grow, it needed to be dropped in dirt, covered in darkness, and struggle to reach the light.”

“Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.”

What is a normal goal to a young person

Posted on March 20, 2025 by Barry

“What is a normal goal to a young person becomes a neurotic hindrance in old age.”

—Carl Gustav Jung, 20th Century founder of analytical psychology

Image from Unsplash by Estée Janssens

Today’s quote underscores the necessity of adapting goals to life’s stages.

External success in youth often becomes a barrier to inner fulfillment as we age.

Jung emphasizes that older adults should:

Embrace inner work: focus on self-reflection, reconciling opposites, and accepting mortality.
Releasing ego-centrist goals: shed rigid roles and societal expectations to foster authenticity and connection to the collective unconscious.
Accepting the “Afternoon of Life” view of aging as a time for harvest and find meaning in introspection rather than external achievements.

EXERCISE:

In what ways are you still clinging to certain goals of your youth?

How would greater acceptance of the passage of time — and your current stage of life — guide you on a better path with greater purpose and fulfillment?

There seems to be some perverse human characteristic

Posted on March 19, 2025 by Barry

“There seems to be some perverse human characteristic that likes to make easy things difficult.”

—Warren Buffett, American investor and philanthropist

Image from Unsplash by Sarah Dorweiler

In a world drowning in complexity, Occam’s Razor — a 14th century principle favoring the simplest explanation — offers a lifeline.

By prioritizing straightforward solutions, we cut through noise and inefficiency.

It sharpens decision-making by filtering distractions, helping us focus on what truly matters.

It also fosters critical thinking, urging us to question assumptions and avoiding biases.

In an era of endless options, embracing simplicity isn’t just practical — it’s liberating.

Taking this approach can help clear the way to dissolve life’s chaos into far more manageable, actionable steps forward.

Leonardo da Vinci is famously quoted as saying, “Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.”

EXERCISE:
Where in your world are you over-complicating things?

How would taking a simpler approach to certain matters be a far more effective path toward greater clarity and results?