“If everyone would learn that what is right for me doesn’t make it right for anyone else, the world would be a much happier place.”

– William Glasser, psychiatrist

This is a guest piece from Bette Blance, president of the William Glasser Institute, New Zealand (www.glassernz.org.nz).

Perhaps you have people in your professional or personal life who frequently give unasked-for advice, using Glasser’s “disconnecting habits” of criticizing, blaming, and complaining to try to impose their will on you or on others. You may even be able to think of times when you’ve done the same.

This behavior drives us further apart rather than connecting us more strongly. If you recognize it in yourself, remind yourself that the only person you can control is yourself. By giving up trying to control others, you can, as Glasser suggests, make your world a much happier place.

Exercise:

Over the next week catch yourself using these disconnecting habits

• Criticizing
• Blaming
• Nagging
• Complaining
• Bribing
• Punishing
• Threatening

Change these habits to ones that support and encourage and see what happens.

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